STAR TREK...J.J., Pine, & Crew 2009

J.J. Abrams revives the tribute of my lifetime.  I had no idea that years of choosing to spend time with my dad in front of what he just affectionately categorized as "Sci-Fi" would turn me into a Trekkie.  Sure, I've heard of Tribbles, Jean-Luc Picard is my personal Gandalf-esque mentor, and Janeway reminded me of my more feminist professors in my more mind-shaping classes. What of it? It was about the phasers set to stun and the Vulcan mind meld and the hyccup phrasing of Captain Kirk.  

Now, however, the crew members of the Starship Enterprise are my age, Starfleet Academy is accepting applications, Bones is attractive, Romulans have a nasty streak, and I want Chris Pine to father my children. 

TRANSFORMERS 2...Shia 2009

Theory: Michael Bay is 10 years old, 14 at best. I've seen his public self before, but I believe that man to be his decoy. At least I know this movie's target audience: pubescent boys. Why else would they have asked monosyllabic valley-girl Megan Fox back for the second. Oh, and the idiot parents - "Let's get the mom high in this one" says the jr. high cheer squad slash billion dollar action film consultants. Shia gets better at his job while the rest of the world slips into action-induced comas. Drunk on visual-stimulus as robot warriors change back and forth from vehicles to heroes, I'll admit I appreciated the visuals and even the story. I like action, so perhaps if they had removed everyone except the robots, Shia, (and I suppose the very pretty Josh D.) I would be speaking more highly of this sequel.

Shia, you've got a good thing going here. Don't blow it. I like your

Cusackisms.

PS. A word on sequels: Don't bother, unless you consider them the necessary transition period between the original and the usually more appealing 3rd. Sad, but true.