VALENTINES DAY...who isn't in it? 2.14.2010

Dear Gary Marshall,

I'm glad that its' been a few days since I saw your film, and I'm equally glad that I didn't watch this on the day for which is was named. First a question, Mr. Marshall. 

Why would you choose to call in all of your favors for this film that I've heard called "fluffy?" Julia, Ashton, Jennifer, Patrick, George,

 McSteamy, Topher, Latifah, BlueEyes, both Taylors (who sadly ended their relationship about a week too early to match the film release), Anne, Jamie, the Jessicas? Wow.  Impressive cast list. But for this? ...for these empty roles?  

PS. It's amiable for you to use your entire family in your films, but I have to say that it's just not as endearing for those of us in the fold-down, popcorn-pelted seats.  Penny is the only real acting talent in the family.  Your daughter's lines make even those of legends like Julie Andrews and Shirley MacLaine feel laughable. Wooden. Truth.

A complaint = Lodged today. 2.15.10. I went expecting a light and friendly Gary Marshallesque chickflick/ romcom.  I left so saddened by the unexpected realizm, the darkness of deception, and the expectation that lust will always win over in a selfish humanity.  Is there no love? No hope for selfless affection, no joy in pleasant pink days of gifts and candy and flowers?  I walked into a Starbucks on Valentines Day and all of the women were wearing red.  There must be hope. 

A compliment = I've had time to review, to ask, to ponder your reasonings.  You are obviously a family man, and I am going to venture a guess that this film was made as a personal commentary - almost your version of a documentary - to show your perspectives on love and marriage to your family.  To the oldest in the family =true love stays with it despite disappointment and allows the years of faithfulness and acceptance of quirks to cover the momentary afflictions and poor choices.  To the young and ready to marry = don't be stupid, and make sure you marry your best friend.  To youth - sex before commitment is just sex, not love, and frivolous sex destroys people.  Your other possible messages, I'm afraid, faded beneath a star-studded quilt of wish-it-was-funny jokes about phone sex and pent-up frustrations.  So, Mr. Marshall, perhaps it's not too late to call in that one last favor and make a film that's funny and fun without the stifling edge of painful relational disappointment. 

Sincerely,

me.

WHIP IT...Drew Barrymore's directorial debute...2009

Oh Drew. 

Oh Ellen/Juno.  

Oh Landon Pigg.

ET.

XMen2. Ok, true. Just Juno.

Fallin for you...at a coffee shop, in this film...wherever the Love begins, it may fade if based on the acting... but do sing, though.  Sing to me.  I saw you once at Fido, a great coffee shop in Nashville. Maybe I could take the song personally. 

Since the release of this film, my roommate has begun investigating the world of derby.  When asked what her roller name would be, she had an immediate response.  What would mine be, I wonder?  Meanwhile, she's saving up for skates.  

Whip It: I will remember food fights, the pool scene (ummmmhhh...uhhhh... no words. awkward), the costumes, the retainers, the skating, and most of all Kristen Wiig. The rest I will put behind me quickly.  Yes. Quickly.

ME AND ORSON WELLES...Efron, Danes, and ???...2009

Really, don't bother.  You may be thinking that that Zac Efron, (proper spelling in place, thank you Melynda), you know, the kid from High School Musical, is the next big one so you better see everything that gets him there. Sure, he's an amiable two-tap Charlie and a class act with youthful zeal.  But it can't sell me on a plotless sleeper.  Ouch.  Yes.  Of course, if you have done stage productions and you miss the rush of a curtain call, or if you teach the book Julius Caesar you will want to show the final play production to your class.  The Welles character has incredible stage presence, a brooding voice, and moments of vulnerablility - a cad - and a true thespian.  Clare Danes (yeah, that girl from Romeo & Juliet - who has got to be in her 40's and is now prancing around with Efron in this film) plays a nominal, poorly written character.  

Dear Zac, my advice to you is that you better be careful and not take every "17 year old character who can sing/dance" that comes around.  Maybe Disney has you contracted.  You did flip someone off in this film, and drink wine, and call Clare Danes your "lover." Ooooh, dangerous.  But it doesn't make you a man.  Just as paying for my ticket didn't make this a great movie. Sorry Orson.

SHERLOCK...R.D.J. & Jude...Guy Ritchie...2009

I was accused recently of taking movies a bit too seriously.  I assume this meant always watching critically for details rather than just allowing myself to be entertained.  It's true that the number one prerogative of films seems to be entertainment.  So, with this advice in my left back pocket, I ventured into the weekend blockbuster.  To my surprise and delight, this film was exactly what I had hoped it would be - an action-adventure with witty, likable characters.  The Sherlock tales of old came to life with an entirely new face, enabling me to sit more comfortably in my familiarity. I've always seen a staunch, heady, emotionless Holmes in my mind, (an admitted deterrent despite my love for his irrepressible sleuthing and attention to detail).  Oddly, a freshness surged forth from beneath a thick layer of grimy filth.  Robert Downey Jr.'s dirty face, dusty jacket, and disheveled hair actually gave Holmes this precious, tangible, and realistic air. I loved him.  I don't know when it happened, but at some point (I suppose it was post Clinton administration), the world began to trust R.D.Jr as an actor again. Jude Law, too, was magnificent. Can he even make a monocle sexy?  I'm still deciding if ANY girl could have played McAdams' role.  Probably.  She did bring the pretty face.  My one fear walking in was that the film would be too dark and venture too boldly into the grotesque of the spirit world or into the sensual imaginings of Madonna's former spouse. In the end, however, in true Scooby Doo fashion, all masks were stripped away revealing science, not spirits.  Holmes at the helm brought all to right and back into the light once again.  "Delightful. Well done," she remembered saying with a grin.  Well, that's entertainment for you. 

AVATAR...2009...Cameron

I am a firm believer in the fact that filmmakers are storytellers.  In the case of this sci-fi lovers dreamworld, (taking place in a galaxy far away...), humans can step into the literal bodies of the aliens that they are studying via a personal "avatar." The word avatar, according to Princeton's world.net.web, means: embodiment: a new personification of a familiar idea; "the embodiment of hope"; "the incarnation of evil"; "the very avatar of cunning." It also means: the manifestation of a Hindu deity (especially Vishnu) in human or superhuman or animal form; "the Buddha is considered an avatar of the god Vishnu."  Hmmm...that's disturbing. RPG'ers will also lay claim to the word as they "live" their games...and get the snot beaten out of them at school in their real lives.  

I've asked myself if James Cameron,

 writer/director/producer of Avatar, is simply appealing to the masses or if somewhere deep within himself is a young sci-fi nerd living his other life on the big screen.  Leave it to Cameron to produce a sci-fi 3-D action thriller "for the whole family" with 500 million dollar budget (probably the highest on a film yet). Cameron farmed out to the best in the biz - Lucasfilms, Weta, Skywalker Sound.  The outcome was the 

astounding marriage of CGI

 and real life action, a believable story, and an empathetic tale of colonization that should hit pretty close to home.

I just taught the book Things Fall Apart - a tragic story about the British colonization of Nigeria in the early 1900's.  Its author, Chinua Achebe, claims to have written his book as a reminder to his people not to completely lose the old ways, and to the world to not repeat the wrongs of the past.  Achebe speaks of the "white men" coming into his native tribe in Africa - some who come peaceably to befriend and learn about the tribes, and others who come to take and force compliance. Native Americans will also relate to the moral of the Avatar story.  They know of forced compliance and the general disrespect of their gods.  As in Native American culture, the "Blue People" of this far away planet, have a pantheistic religious milieu that encompasses all that they do.  They are people of the trees, athletic and naturalistic.  It's an REI member's dream to get to live like they do.  The adventures are palpable, the landscape beautiful.  We, the theatergoers, see through the eyes of Sam Worthington, a truly solid character.  He is believable, and (like the hero "Jack" from the show Lost) he has a refreshing understanding of stillness.  He's the jarhead-made-Avatar. 

Now to the penny-drop: I was deeply disturbed by this film's blatant freedom to show nudity as justified by cultural differences and CGI affects, sexuality as justified by the idea that at least one party believed that they were "mating for life," and pagan rituals as truth justified once again by the difference in culture.  Our culture seems to demand tolerance and acceptance of differences while rejecting critical thinking.  In life's classroom, this is an unacceptable practice.  The family sitting behind me probably should have shielded their 5 & 6 year old's eyes during a number of scenes - or not brought them at all.  People are bringing their whole families into the bedrooms of random strangers and encouraging them to watch.  I am disgusted.

So, to end this rant, I believe this film to be an action-packed thrill-ride with a message much like Achebe's - go and learn of the cultures but never feel that you are better and can take what you want from them.  I also believe that this film is dangerously beautiful - attractive in a way that makes you say "oh, I guess it's ok. It's just a story." And later as you enjoy his Worthington's last few words, "Afterall, it's my birthday," you smile.  You may not realize that you've accidentally downed the entire bottle of poison - slowly, so it was barely noticeable.

THE FANTASTIC MR. FOX...ahhh....good old Wes Anderson

Miles of unrest have lead me to this moment in time when I should be asleep, but I've let my mind wander to the place of recent joy...

Who knew that a simple night at the theater would prove a visionary stroll into a realism personified to the degree of Watership Down and Animal Farm.  I love the characters in this film, as I love the characters in all Wes Anderson films.  They are intricate, broken - fractured by insecurities and confused relationships.  Father/son play the common dueling roles, as usual, and lines are delivered as dryly as possible.  Long camera shots show thoughtful parallels as characters grow and change through struggle and heroism.  Forgiveness is the bravest trait of all, it turns out.  

The voices of Clooney, Streep, Wilson, Schwartzman, Dafoe, and of course Mr. Murray provide anchors of zest and quirk to each character as personality sparks from puppets originally frozen in frames.  Sin, life callings, marriage, parenthood - Fox and friends grace these themes, find resolve, and dance!  Mr. Fox and his trademark whistle truly are fantastic!

2012...Cusak. No Joke.

Somehow, John Cusack can even make the end of the world seem like a glib 80's party. I actually enjoyed the effects without having any kind of emotional response. The scenes in LA were a Disney ride. The characters were lackluster enough for me to care little if they were swallowed up in the mass inundation of the planet.    I felt like they could have titled this film "The 2nd Flooding" or "Cusack Builds an Ark" or "John Almighty." The intertwining love stories forced a happy ending despite the virtual destruction of the planet.  Love blossoms between the president's daughter (The president was played by none other than the ever-amiable Danny Glover.) and the scientist who becomes a hero when he stands on his moral convictions to save the final few hundred people in the last lemming-like sequences.  

I left my seat in the theater feeling like I had just sat through Titanic 2.  Reminiscent.  Minus the stark empathy and sadness  - an even sadder truth in light of an apocalyptic obliteration.  John and his ex-wife Amanda Peet rekindle their original fire and potty-train their daughter who announces the final line of the movie, "No more pull-ups." Glib. 2012.