ALICE IN WONDERLAND...Burton's Best story re-creation yet! 2010

Twas Alice at the midnight Lowes

Did friends and film class students vade

to see Tim Burton's modern show,

the Alice cavalcade.

 Undaunted sat we glaring up

at marvels never seen,

But it was young Miss Wasikowska

who lit up every screen

Burtonesque, you can be sure

that Edward trimmed the trees,

that skullheads skulk through eerie dreams,

and his red Helena is queen.

Anne and Johnny play their roles

as children with new stacking blocks

gallumphing through the mystic woods

and quoting Carroll's Jabberwock

I believe Jane Austen would approve 

this glam-fest period piece 3-D,

she'd thrill and push for women's rights

discussing creatures over tea.

 

 

SHUTTER ISLAND...Scorsese 2010

Scorsese, the scar-faced Santa Claus, delivers coal to sinful souls through a wet, red door in his newest film entitled Shutter Island.  Justice and mercy, forgiveness and grief - these intermingle as Leo fights demons and seeks truth.  In finding it, however, he also finds himself in interminable pain. This journey is a powerfully concocted trudge through the tortured mind, and ironically it's a thinker film without a lot of action. Are we meant to see ourselves in one of the two pairs of shoes - as potential patients? Are war "heroes" made at the price of, how did Leo put it in the film...something like, "our God-given moral code?"  

Motifs flourish in this film: water & death, fire & life, light & escape.  Most of the elements are present, but Scorsese's most impressive elements are the cast members themselves.  Each performs perfectly in his / her roles. I love this cast.  Each one would make my list of "people I would have lunch with...living, dead, fictitious..." Ben Kingsley is lovely as always - a father/mentor figure.  Mark Ruffalo has the role of "foil" down pat, and he such a handle on de-emotionalizing and controlling his characters. I feel safe in his performances - curious, but safe. A favorite and most telling scene is the conversation between Leo and Ted Levine (Monk's Captain Stottlemeyer). And I've come to expect seeing Christopher Plummer lately, so of course he was the man in the chair. Leo is stunning.  He is dangerous and unapproachable as a human being, a perfect match to the foil. He is the hero.  I love his purpose and his approach to the journey - he fears not for himself - a heroic earmark.

I am a Gretel.  I love following bread crumbs.  (Beware: light spoilers to follow.) It opens with a Hitchcockesque score, which doesn't continue, but bursts forth once again at the very end.  I was surprised to hear the conflict indicator line "A storm's coming" in the first five minutes of the film. Crumbs: Ruffalo's gun, accent, and sideways glances; the guards' boredom, the supposedly-menacing lighthouse (usually a beacon of safety), the darkly humorous interviews.  It's not a question of what is real, but what is actually unsafe? Scorsese sets the audience up well and moves the story at a digestible pace, but shows me too much gore to ever want to see it again.  Yes, Scorsese indulges in a violent commentary on life, but at the expense of all comfort.  What initially advertises as beautiful is frightfully bloody and heart-woundingly sad. 

 

LEAP YEAR...Amy Adams and newest celebrity crush...2010

Far fetched but surprisingly unpretentious.

Contrived but timely in a wish-it-was-The Quiet Man sort of a way.

Amy Adams attempts to prove to this world of romantics such as myself that it truly IS the cocky, overly-sensitive, high-maintenance perfectionists who get the hot, manly, foreign guys after all.  So, if you don't mind feeding yourself this lie for 2 hours of frosted chick-flick indulgence - eat up! Just remember that frosting is more fat than fuel.

P.S. It's exactly what you think it will be. So, no, Riley, don't bother.

VALENTINES DAY...who isn't in it? 2.14.2010

Dear Gary Marshall,

I'm glad that its' been a few days since I saw your film, and I'm equally glad that I didn't watch this on the day for which is was named. First a question, Mr. Marshall. 

Why would you choose to call in all of your favors for this film that I've heard called "fluffy?" Julia, Ashton, Jennifer, Patrick, George,

 McSteamy, Topher, Latifah, BlueEyes, both Taylors (who sadly ended their relationship about a week too early to match the film release), Anne, Jamie, the Jessicas? Wow.  Impressive cast list. But for this? ...for these empty roles?  

PS. It's amiable for you to use your entire family in your films, but I have to say that it's just not as endearing for those of us in the fold-down, popcorn-pelted seats.  Penny is the only real acting talent in the family.  Your daughter's lines make even those of legends like Julie Andrews and Shirley MacLaine feel laughable. Wooden. Truth.

A complaint = Lodged today. 2.15.10. I went expecting a light and friendly Gary Marshallesque chickflick/ romcom.  I left so saddened by the unexpected realizm, the darkness of deception, and the expectation that lust will always win over in a selfish humanity.  Is there no love? No hope for selfless affection, no joy in pleasant pink days of gifts and candy and flowers?  I walked into a Starbucks on Valentines Day and all of the women were wearing red.  There must be hope. 

A compliment = I've had time to review, to ask, to ponder your reasonings.  You are obviously a family man, and I am going to venture a guess that this film was made as a personal commentary - almost your version of a documentary - to show your perspectives on love and marriage to your family.  To the oldest in the family =true love stays with it despite disappointment and allows the years of faithfulness and acceptance of quirks to cover the momentary afflictions and poor choices.  To the young and ready to marry = don't be stupid, and make sure you marry your best friend.  To youth - sex before commitment is just sex, not love, and frivolous sex destroys people.  Your other possible messages, I'm afraid, faded beneath a star-studded quilt of wish-it-was-funny jokes about phone sex and pent-up frustrations.  So, Mr. Marshall, perhaps it's not too late to call in that one last favor and make a film that's funny and fun without the stifling edge of painful relational disappointment. 

Sincerely,

me.

WHIP IT...Drew Barrymore's directorial debute...2009

Oh Drew. 

Oh Ellen/Juno.  

Oh Landon Pigg.

ET.

XMen2. Ok, true. Just Juno.

Fallin for you...at a coffee shop, in this film...wherever the Love begins, it may fade if based on the acting... but do sing, though.  Sing to me.  I saw you once at Fido, a great coffee shop in Nashville. Maybe I could take the song personally. 

Since the release of this film, my roommate has begun investigating the world of derby.  When asked what her roller name would be, she had an immediate response.  What would mine be, I wonder?  Meanwhile, she's saving up for skates.  

Whip It: I will remember food fights, the pool scene (ummmmhhh...uhhhh... no words. awkward), the costumes, the retainers, the skating, and most of all Kristen Wiig. The rest I will put behind me quickly.  Yes. Quickly.

ME AND ORSON WELLES...Efron, Danes, and ???...2009

Really, don't bother.  You may be thinking that that Zac Efron, (proper spelling in place, thank you Melynda), you know, the kid from High School Musical, is the next big one so you better see everything that gets him there. Sure, he's an amiable two-tap Charlie and a class act with youthful zeal.  But it can't sell me on a plotless sleeper.  Ouch.  Yes.  Of course, if you have done stage productions and you miss the rush of a curtain call, or if you teach the book Julius Caesar you will want to show the final play production to your class.  The Welles character has incredible stage presence, a brooding voice, and moments of vulnerablility - a cad - and a true thespian.  Clare Danes (yeah, that girl from Romeo & Juliet - who has got to be in her 40's and is now prancing around with Efron in this film) plays a nominal, poorly written character.  

Dear Zac, my advice to you is that you better be careful and not take every "17 year old character who can sing/dance" that comes around.  Maybe Disney has you contracted.  You did flip someone off in this film, and drink wine, and call Clare Danes your "lover." Ooooh, dangerous.  But it doesn't make you a man.  Just as paying for my ticket didn't make this a great movie. Sorry Orson.

SHERLOCK...R.D.J. & Jude...Guy Ritchie...2009

I was accused recently of taking movies a bit too seriously.  I assume this meant always watching critically for details rather than just allowing myself to be entertained.  It's true that the number one prerogative of films seems to be entertainment.  So, with this advice in my left back pocket, I ventured into the weekend blockbuster.  To my surprise and delight, this film was exactly what I had hoped it would be - an action-adventure with witty, likable characters.  The Sherlock tales of old came to life with an entirely new face, enabling me to sit more comfortably in my familiarity. I've always seen a staunch, heady, emotionless Holmes in my mind, (an admitted deterrent despite my love for his irrepressible sleuthing and attention to detail).  Oddly, a freshness surged forth from beneath a thick layer of grimy filth.  Robert Downey Jr.'s dirty face, dusty jacket, and disheveled hair actually gave Holmes this precious, tangible, and realistic air. I loved him.  I don't know when it happened, but at some point (I suppose it was post Clinton administration), the world began to trust R.D.Jr as an actor again. Jude Law, too, was magnificent. Can he even make a monocle sexy?  I'm still deciding if ANY girl could have played McAdams' role.  Probably.  She did bring the pretty face.  My one fear walking in was that the film would be too dark and venture too boldly into the grotesque of the spirit world or into the sensual imaginings of Madonna's former spouse. In the end, however, in true Scooby Doo fashion, all masks were stripped away revealing science, not spirits.  Holmes at the helm brought all to right and back into the light once again.  "Delightful. Well done," she remembered saying with a grin.  Well, that's entertainment for you.